Tartarus
by MomoMouat97
Summary: All it would take was one step forward… He closed his eyes, feeling as if he were floating. Dark drabble set after the finale in MoA. Mind the trigger warning.


**Base Storyline:** Nico wakes up from a nightmare on board the Argo II. It is the night after Annabeth and Percy fell into Tartarus. He is already sickly and pale, not to mention underfed from his capture and torment. He stumbles outside and his thoughts poison him. He contemplates jumping off of the ship and killing himself, but somebody finds him and talks him out of it.

 **TW:** Almost suicide.

 **Recommended Listening:** Spotify Playlist: _Depressive Writing –_ __

Nico's eyes snapped open in terror, his mouth falling open into a silent scream. Chest heaving with huge, tearing gasps, he pulled himself into an upright position. His long fingers tore at his hair as he surged forward, head shoved between his knees. A whimper scraped its way out of his throat, echoing in the darkened cabin.

His stomach barely gave him a seconds warning, and Nico rolled to the side of the bed just in time to empty it on the floor beside him. Gagging, his back heaved, trying to expel the poison that seemed to be eating at his mind. Tears filled the corners of his eyes as he cuffed the back of his mouth, shuddering.

" _Foolish boy…nobody is coming for you."_

He dangled in place for a moment, trying to catch his breath before flipping himself over onto his back. Dull brown eyes stared blankly at the ceiling centered above him, and Nico slowly shut his eyes. The instant that he did, the visions flashed before his eyes, torturing him.

It was like he was still trapped inside that tiny, airless jar at the bottom of the pit.

Nico pried his exhausted, sticky eyes open, unable to stand it any longer. His ribs protested as he forced his body to sit up straight, and his hand came up to massage them. Despite Hazel's best medical work, he still was weaker than he'd ever been before. Every single inch of his being ached, just from sitting.

" _By the time we're done you'll be screaming for death, little demigod."_

A hiss escaped his mouth as he swayed forward, free hand clutching onto the headboard for support. His brow furrowed in pain as Nico cautiously took a step forward, doing his best not to give into the urge to collapse into a heap on the floor.

The room was suffocating him. He needed to get out, or he was going to lose his mind.

" _Help!" Nico screamed, fingers clawing uselessly at the sides of the bronze container. "Please! Anybody!"_

Nico flinched when he opened the door, hearing the long, drawn out screech. Mentally, he cursed Leo for not keeping his ship in better condition. The last thing that he wanted right now was company.

Limping faster now, Nico used the wall for added support, feet padding quietly on the fresh carpet. His heart was racing with an emotion that he couldn't quite describe, filling him to the brim with a powerful sensation. It was exhilarating, and at the same time it made him want to curl into a ball and cry.

" _Scream, Son of Death – I want to hear your cries!"_

It didn't take him long to find his way outside. The cold night air blew across his face, instantly drying the tear tracks down his cheeks and leaving salty trails in their wake. A quiet calm washed over his body, and Nico's eyes shut of their own accord, blurring painfully in the wind.

His feet kept moving, and when he'd opened his eyes again he found himself at the edge of the deck, the only thing separating him from the empty nothingness below a wooden railing.

" _Leave me alone!"_

Nico wrapped an arm around his chest, shivering. He wished more than anything that he'd had the foresight to grab his jacket before venturing out here. It was surprisingly cold outside, considering that it was the middle of summer.

Of course, when you are thousands of feet in the air, it was bound to get a little chilly.

Alone with only his thoughts and the wind for company, Nico felt something inside of him start to crack. He clenched his teeth, fighting back the overwhelming urge to sob. Unconsciously, he dug his fingers into his forearm, drawing blood. It trickled down his wrist and down onto the deck as he clutched the damp railing with his free hand.

His imprisonment was fresh in his mind. He'd been rescued only yesterday – which happened to be the worst day of his life. You would've thought that his liberation would have made it the best day – but instead he'd lost two of his oldest friends. He could still hear Percy's voice echoing in his head, beseeching him to meet him at the Doors of Death just before he and Annabeth fell.

Nico cast his mind around wildly, trying to focus on anything but the demons that were clawing at the edges of his brain, never leaving him alone. His face crumpled, and he sunk to his knees, still gripping the wooden post with all of his might. He pressed his face into it as the painful memories began to surface of their own accord, mixed in with flashes of Tartarus.

" _What's happening? Did we win?" His eager voice when Percy came running out of the trees, a couple of Athena kids on his heels._

" _You promised you would protect her!" White hot anger filling him up like a hot-air balloon, so full that he felt he would burst. The flash of panic across Percy's face as he unleashed a wave of pure fury. The horror he'd felt afterwards._

" _You don't trust me anymore." Dejection written across his face as Percy scowled at him._

" _Is that…is that blue birthday cake?" Hope tugging at the ends of his mouth, a friendly smile on the Son of Poseidon's face._

" _I-I know you." Panic, praying to whatever Gods he could think of that Percy wouldn't remember him – Hazel's curious eyes boring holes into his head._

" _Percy is the most powerful demigod I've ever met!" Defensive words pouring out of his mouth, feeling the flush of embarrassment clawing its way across his cheeks._

" _I-I will." Hand dangling into nothingness, reaching, groping desperately, and Percy's wide green eyes filled with fear miles below._

 _A single tear dripping down his cheek as his hero fell._

"Stop," Nico gasped, both hands pressed to the sides of his head – eyes squeezed together so tightly that he was seeing stars. "Please!"

" _Don't you see? They don't even notice you're gone," the largest giant chuckled, peering down at the trembling boy darkly._

 _Nico spat out a mouthful of blood in response, setting his jaw resolutely. "Eat me."_

" _Oh I plan to do just that." An excruciating, burning pain. Screams ripping from his chest. Complete agony._

He'd had enough. Nico reeled backward, his eyes snapping open. His back slammed against the opposite railing, a large piece breaking off from the force of it. He just managed to catch himself before he followed, watching the flimsy piece of wood fall down to the ocean, miles below.

The wind was stronger now, without its buffer. In some strange way, it seemed soothing to Nico. Calm washed over him, relaxing his tensed muscles. Cautiously, he meandered over to the newly-made hole in the side of the barrier, peering down at the void.

His face was expressionless as new thoughts began to circulate.

 _A fall from this height would probably be painless_ , he mused. _Instant death on the water. Oh, water. How ironic that it could cause him great joy and great pain._

A part of him in the back of his mind was screaming at him to back up, but instead Nico stepped even closer, the very edges of his bare-feet hanging over the edge. The wind seemed to die in his ears, the whole world going eerily silent. He could feel it violently brushing against his body, blowing his black shirt in sloppy circles, and yet he couldn't hear it.

 _All it would take was one step forward_ … He closed his eyes, feeling as if he were floating.

Nico had one foot raised off of the deck, arms slightly raised in anticipation, when a voice came from behind him, nearly inaudible. "Nico?"

His eyes snapped open, and he whirled around, nearly losing his fragile footing. None other than Piper Mclean stood in the doorway, wearing rumpled purple and pink pajama bottoms and a guarded expression. She was the last person that Nico would have expected to see.

"Piper?" he asked dumbly, taking a slight step forward, away from the slippery edge of the ship. "What are you doing up?"

"I felt like I could use a touch of fresh air," she said, almost too casually. Nico narrowed his eyes at her voice, slightly off-key. He had a thing for knowing when people were lying – and of course, the fact that Piper was known to be a horrible liar without her charmspeak was also an added bonus.

He noted how her bright multi-colored eyes took in everything, from how close he stood to the edge – to the fresh tear tracks on his face. Nico felt himself flush slightly, and he turned his face away from her so that he could scrub it free of salt.

Out of the corner of his eye, Nico watched as she took a few nervous steps forward. It was like watching a skittish animal approach a human, and annoyance shot through him. With it came a flash of panic at her discovering him in such a vulnerable position, and he snapped.

"Oh, stop acting like I'm going to hurt you."

Piper stopped, cocking her head at him. Genuine confusion seemed to flit across her face, and Nico's anger grew at the sight of it. He was losing control, just like he had when he was a heartbroken child, all those years ago.

"What? Why would I be worried about you hurting me?"

Nico snorted, shifting sideways so that he could lean on a piece of remaining railing. He crossed his arms, looking down at his feet, feeling suddenly shifty. Not to mention moody. "I don't know – why else would you be looking at me like that?"

"I – " Piper stuttered over her words, something that Nico had never witnessed before. A sarcastic smile blossomed on his lips. All of these demigods – they were just the same. Bigoted idiots.

"It's because I'm a son of Hades, isn't it?" Nico bit out, clenching his jaw. He wasn't sure where are of this anger was coming from, but he couldn't seem to bite his tongue now that he had started. "You all are so prejudiced towards me, I bet you think I'm going to kill you every hour of the day."

"Nico, that's not it – " She was almost in front of him now, still taking hesitant steps forward at an annoyingly slow pace. Nico felt his eyes flash in warning, showing the power of the Underworld – Piper paled at the sight of the madman glint in his eyes.

Sighing, he rolled them. "Gods, I can't believe this crap – "

"Nico, will you shut up!" Piper finally snapped, eyes flashing with a fury of her own. They almost seemed to flash with bright power, causing his mind to go blank. Nico blinked, feeling his throat shut of its own action. It was obvious that she had poured a bit of charmspeak into that one, and it really stung. He'd never felt something so compelling and powerful before, and to be frank it terrified the schist out of him.

Piper stood in front of Nico crossing her arms with an anxious expression on her face. Her hair was a rat's nest, several white feathers lying askew within the messy braids. Her feet were bare, like Nico's – but her pants covered all but the toes. Very brightly colored toes, he noted, before he was compelled to turn his eyes back up. Nico focused his gaze on her face against his will, unable to move or speak.

"Are you really that daft, Nico?" Piper implored him, the same emotion washing over her face. This time, it didn't anger him. "I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of what you were going to do."

Nico stared blankly at her, finding his voice – although hoarse – at last. "What?"

"Oh, so you weren't about to jump off and kill yourself?" Nico recoiled away from the harsh words, clutching his throbbing ribs at the sudden movement. His heart skipped a beat before pounding away, a hot flush heating him from the inside.

"That's what I thought." Her voice turned sad.

"You have no right," Nico hissed, stunned at how braise she was. "That is _none_ of your fucking business."

She didn't even flinch at the harsh language, to her credit. "Please. Of course it's my business."

Nico turned away from her, biting his lip to keep the retort down. He couldn't believe that this was happening right now, right here. He didn't have the guts to face this conversation right now.

He felt a hand come and rest on his shoulder, and he tried to shrug it off. "Go away."

"No, I don't think I will," Piper told him, holding her ground. Her other hand came up to his other shoulder, and she turned him to face her – it wasn't hard, considering he was as skinny as a leaf. "Nico."

He looked at her. Her eyes were fully of pity, and he scowled through a sudden urge to cry. "I don't want your fucking pity, Piper."

"I know you don't," Piper took in his appearance – bone thin, paler than some of the ghosts she'd seen. He looked as if he was being held together by the tiniest thread, ready to snap at any moment. His brown eyes were wide with fear, and yet still they managed to look dead inside. Honestly, he looked like a zombie – with his ripped shorts and faded black t-shirt that had definitely seen better days. "But, Nico, you don't have to do this."

Nico closed his eyes, feeling his legs wobble weakly. More memories burned through him like the fire he'd been tortured with, He grimaced, frustrated at how fragile his tortured body was. "I – "

"Nico, that _isn't_ the answer," she told him, her voice breaking slightly. It stunned him, to see her care so much – about _him_. "It's never the answer."

His knees buckled, hands coming up to pull on his hair to try to distract himself from his heart breaking. Piper fell to her knees along with him, and when he started to cry she said nothing. Nico's shoulders shook with pain as he sobbed, knowing that Piper was right. He'd been weak in that moment, and it had almost cost him deeply.

 _He'd never been more grateful that somebody had interrupted him before._


End file.
